Dark Magician Agency
by Dragon's Tongue
Summary: In a town of monsters, one Spellcastor strives to help the weak, and find the truth. And give readers a few laughs.
1. The Hat Heist Caper! part one

A/N: I got this brilliant idea from an EZ Board member named SetoKaibaWon.  
  
Yami:Crappy name.  
  
Alpha: *sighs* Anyway, this is my chance to create something original, funny, and cool! Don't worry, Drake fans; I won't slack in Fellowship either, but this fic will really be worth waiting for! at least I think........  
  
Disclaimer: Konichiwa, 4Kids-sama!  
  
Claimer:READ, DARN IT!  
  
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The city of Yami. A dark place, with dark people.  
  
Not that I complain. I AM after all, a dark guy.  
  
But there are some jerks out there that really love the mayhem, and when I'm not dueling for the guy the city's named after, I try to clean out the trash.  
  
For a price, of course.  
  
My name's Darien Magik, which I got from the cute guy that owns my card.   
  
You can call me Dark Magician, which is, of course, what I am.  
  
I run a detective biz. Hardly pays, cause it hardly has customers.  
  
This town is hard, it has a lot of Fiends screwing it up, and I intend to change that, as soon as I get another job.  
  
My last job, which I sullenly refer to as, "The Snatch Steal Screw-up.", had the card in name accused of theft. Poor guy fell in a Fissure before I could catch him, so I got nothing. At least the little Sangan that he stole from the girl, an Unhappy Maiden, was OK. But it did scratch up my face for a few days.  
  
I heard a tap at the door. Shocked, I looked up from my chair, putting the book I was reading down. Interesting reads, those Secret Arts volumes. A few of those spells may come in handy some time.  
  
I rubbed my eyes. The woman standing in my door was a literal and figurative eye-opener. She had beautiful, bright blue eyes, and a pretty face, not to mention the obvious "build".She had soft, blond hair, dampened by the rain, and she wore a brown coat, which I had a sudden erge to teleport away.  
  
"Excuse me?" She said, using a soft, sweet voice." I need a little bit of help."  
  
"That's what I do."I said, standing up. Then I blushed. I saw a little bit of purple hanging limply under her coat.   
  
Now you've probably seen old detective movies like this, were some hot "dame" in lingerie-like clothes comes to the guy's door. Not that I could complain.  
  
"This man attacked me in the street." She said, seeming still shocked." he stole something which is very important to me, and I need it back quickly!"  
  
"I'll see what I can do." I said. And I meant it STRONGLY. When a cute girl like this shows up, you try your best." What did he look like?"  
  
"All I saw was a white hat and cloak." She said, embarrassed."I was too afraid to follow."  
  
"I'll look into it." I said. I already had a great idea about who it might be.  
  
"By the way," I said, grabbing my staff and preparing to leave."What's your name?"  
  
"Dia." She said." Dia Spell."  
  
I smiled."Darien Magik. Stay here; I'll bring news."  
  
I then jumped out my window, and headed toward the one place I knew to go to for answers. Man I LOVE this job!  
  
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A/N: And that, my reviewers, is known as a Too-Short, Teaser Chapter! If you like this so far, let me know so I'll continue. 


	2. The Hat Heist Caper! part two

A/N: I didn't excpect such reaction from one chapter so fast!  
  
Yami:Dark Magician, duh! As if there would'nt be a reaction...  
  
Tribute Duelers: DARK MAGICIAN SUCKS!  
  
Yami: OBLITERATE!!!!!!!!  
  
Alpha: Pixi Stix, right?  
  
Yugi: *sweatdrops* yes.  
  
Drake: Can I be-  
  
Alpha: NO.  
  
Drake: Crap.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Obese Marmot of Nefariousness? I'm not THAT bad...  
  
Claimer:Read story. Write review. Send millions of dollars.Then I'll tell you what I own.  
  
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Stim-Pack Alley. A grungy place where the addicts dwell. Lots of low-lives, swindlers, and political monsters lived here.  
  
And I had the Mother Lode of Info right in the slimiest corner.  
  
Tainted Wisdom. Very large brain, no other organs. While it might have been safer to ask the Ancient Brain for info, TW here was the highest of the high when it came to criminal intelligence.  
  
"That you, Dar'?" I heard his alienoid voice in my mind. It still scared the crap outta me.  
  
"Yep." I thought. Words weren't necessary with this guy."I need info. Any crook come by offering a trinket outta his hat?"  
  
"The White Magical Hat." He sent."A strange-looking staff. Not much else, except he had a hat you used to wear."  
  
That startled me. While I always wore my standard duel uniform when the little guy called me in battle, I always wore my favorite clothes here.  
  
Black armor instead of purple, and a leather jacket instead of that weird purple skirt. And of course, I keep my hat in a SAFE place------  
  
*thinks back to when the hat "accidentally" got strapped to a rabid Battle Ox.*  
  
As much as my dad nearly killed me for it, I'm glad its was gone. [Stubborn thousand year old jerk.]  
  
As I walked down the alleyways, I wondered whether the hat belonged to Dia, or if the WMH stole it from someone else.  
  
"Argh. There's just not enough clues." I said in frustration," How does CSI do it?"  
  
Ok, maybe I've watched too much human TV.  
  
"Okay," I said to myself." If I were some thieving sneak, were would I go?"  
  
It clicked.  
  
I smiled as I walked toward the place. Only one area in the city attracted more slobs than the Stim-Pack.  
  
"The aptly-named 7 Completed." I said as I looked at the casino."Were else to go but a place to lose the evidence. And everything else."  
  
As I walked through those stupid metal detectors[THEY CHECKED MY STAFF!] I sweat-dropped.  
  
For every sucker and gambler in the place, there were at least two Slot Machines.   
  
Maybe the slogan "lose your cash, and maybe a few lives." should be taken more seriously?  
  
I grumbled, then started looking. As I noticed how many thief-like monsters were in this place, I realized this might take a while......  
  
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A/N: Another too-short chapter. But I plan on having each case last three chapters, so next chapter, the "First Case Finale" will be a bit longer. Please tell me what you think of this fic, as I'm having a lot of fun thinking of ideas for it!  
  
  
CLICK BELOW! THEN TYPE! 


	3. The Hat Heist Caper! Conclusion

A/N: People like this fic... weird.  
  
Yami:What have we discussed?  
  
Tribute Duelers: Dark Magician Rocks! SUMMONED SKULL SUCKS!  
  
Yami: Much better.  
  
Seto: Idiots. Everyone knows that BEWDs.......  
  
Yami: *glares*  
  
Seto: Er, I mean, uh , forget it. *scowls*  
  
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I looked around. Knowing full well my magic couldn't affect the Slots, I hoped the Hat didn't have much influence.  
  
"Hey Darien! Whatcha' doin?"  
  
I looked around." Ah, Gracey, how's it going."  
  
The Graceful Dice and I were friend ever since I helped her with a little prob with her brother, Demon.  
  
"Pretty good. I'm making lotsa' people rich!"  
  
"Bet your big bro's not too happy."  
  
"Nope!"She said, grinning."So whatcha' doin?"  
  
"Looking for a white cat in a tacky hat."I said, glancing around again.  
  
"Oh. White's in the back. He found some big employer lately."  
  
Thanking her, I headed toward the back. Not to much trouble, the slots were currently taking the term"Hit Me" literally on a few Rock Ogres. Stepping over the stones, I opened the door.  
  
"Y..yes boss."I heard the familier, too fast voice of the WMH say."I got da goods sir!"  
  
"Good" said a new voice. Another familier guy; the Baron of the Fiend Sword. I should've known he owned this place." Ya shall be gretly a'wrded for ya work."  
  
That accent was getting too annoying.  
  
"Don't count your paycheck yet!" I said, teleporting between them.  
  
Before either could say a word, a bopped the Hat hard on the head with my.......hand? [Oh, yeah! The gaurds checked my staff! Crap!]  
  
"Ack! Dar'an Magi'k!"Baron screamed."Must ya' alwa's screw up me plans?"  
  
"Let's see."I said, putting my hand near his face, ready to blast."You have an annoying voice, you're a crim syndicate leader, you steal from a hot girl, I'd say the answers yes."  
  
"Ya' think it's jus' tha' simple ta' beat th' Baron of Th' Fiend Sword?" He said, scowling."Ah'll just brek' out again in les' than a month!"  
  
"K. Then you won't break out!"  
  
"Ha'?"  
  
I smirked."Dark Magic Attack!"  
  
He widened his eyes before dissapearing in a flash of darkness.  
  
Then I grimaced. Looking down at the empty pile of clthes were the Baron once stood, I remembered excactly what I did.  
  
"That's the thing about black Magic."I said, picking up the wand and weird familier hat from the white one."There's always consequences."  
  
With that, I teleported back to my office.  
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"Oh, thank you!" Dia said happily as I presented her things to her."How can I ever repay you?"  
  
"It's my one-day offer.;No pay! Don't sweat it!" I lied. Okay, it's a weakness:I can't make girls pay.  
  
"By the way, were did you get these, anyway?"I asked.  
  
She smiled, then suddenly threw off her coat!  
  
Blushing furiously, I closed my eyes shut. Then the portion of my mind that contains all perverse things intervened, an I opened them.  
  
My mouth dropped. She was wearing a soft, yet tight, purple leotard. She placed the hat on her head, and picked up the wand.  
  
"No way!" I exclaimed."You're the Dark Magician Girl?"  
  
"Yep!" She said happily, grinning and putting her arms behind her. I blushed, as it snugged her spandex even more."I wanted to tell you, but you left before I could explain."  
  
I smiled." Now I REALLY hope I get to see you again."  
  
"Me too."She said, also blushing slightly."But I do want to repay you for you help."  
  
She smiled in a way that strangely resembled Yugi's friend, Lara."Are you free this weekend?"  
  
I tried my best to keep in my excitement."Sure! S..saturday night good?"  
  
"Of course." She said happily. She then hugged me, and my face erupted in red.  
  
She let go."See you Saturday!"  
  
With that she dissapeared.  
  
I looked down. On my desk was a phone number and an address.  
  
"You know, Dia,"I said, still blushing slightly while smiling,"Maybe I should bend my Girl's-no-pay rule for once........"  
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A/N: *whistles* Go Darien!  
  
Darien: *blushes* Um, thanks. I like this fic so far, could you keep it like this, maybe?  
  
Seto: Ohh, eager for Saturday night to come, eh? Are you planning to end the date with breakfast instead of dinner?  
  
*DM fans all aim cannons at him;fangirls aim A-bombs.*  
  
Seto: Oops.  
  
  
Next chappay!: The perfect night gets ruined real fast by a few jerks with distaste for fine food! Darien gets a new aprtner to help him, but oddly enough, this might not be the first time detectives have solved cases in a tux or a hot dress! The Dark Magic Date case starts next chapter, so stay tuned! 


	4. The Dark Magic Date part one

A/N: Sorry this took so long. My Writer's Block ran into a Plot Hole.[See White Angel's fanfic for understanding.]  
  
  
Disclaimer: Staff, or hand? Hmmmmmmmm.  
  
  
Drake: Normally, I would complain that this isn't my fanfic being updated, but this fic is pretty good.  
  
Alpha: Hotcha!  
  
Lara: And Dia got another role too! She's been very bored lately.  
  
Yami: So, what's Darien's case this time?  
  
Alpha: Read on, dead man.  
  
Yami: What do you mean, "dead man?"  
  
Alpha: Do you think your little date with Tea wil go unoticed by fangirls?  
  
Seto: *opens door* He's in here, girls!  
  
Fangirls: KILL! KILLLLLLL!  
  
Yami: *runs* SETO, YOU TRAITOR!  
  
Alpha: *sweatdrops as he notices Lyz isn't in the crowd*  
  
Drake: Okay, that's enough stalling.  
  
Alpha: WHAAAT!? Crap, you discovered my master plan!  
  
Lara: *Grins evilly as she opens a door* He's in here, girls!  
  
*J.W.A.S, Joey Wheeler Appreciation Society, enters, and sees Seto*  
  
JWAS: GET THE TRANQUILIZERS AND BATS! WE FOUND HIM!  
  
Seto: *little girl scream*  
  
  
Darknight: There are several references to both the card game and other anime's in this fic. I, the exiled God of Challenge, hereby dare the reader to find them, and state them!  
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I groaned as my dad started repremanding my fashion sense.  
  
"Leather does not, under any circumstance, qualify as date-wear material!" The Dark Sage griped.  
  
"Tell that to my duelist."I groaned again."How come he gets to wear leather when he goes out?"  
  
"Because fangirls can't get to you." My pop answered. [Yami: *face-faults*]  
  
"But I look like a Witty Phantom without face-paint!" I complained, staring in the mirror at the revolting purple tux.  
  
"At least you're not your cousin!" Dad said, centering the hidously cute Kuriboh-shaped bow-tie onto my neck."He has the yellow hair to qualify as a Witty Phantom!"  
  
"But that's what makes Mamoru cool!" I said, wishing I had the same red-lined armor.  
  
"Youngsters."I heard him mutter, as he looked me over one last time." I'd say you're ready. Go out, have fun, and don't come back too late in the morning!"  
  
"Okay, I wo- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MORNING?"  
  
My eyes widened at the demonic grin on my father's face." Have "fun"!" He said, before pushing me outside and slamming the door.  
  
Standing up, I immediately realized my face WAS now as red as a Phantom.  
  
"Have fun, ha. Ha. And for the record, ha." I grumbled, changing the tux to a black color and getting rid of the bow. Still, the thought of what the old Sage had said made me blush as I walked toward's Dia's address.  
  
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"Darien! Glad to see you!" Dia said as she came out the door.  
  
My mouth would have dropped, if I wasn't focused enough to keep the drool in. Dia was wearing a beautiful black dress, slightly longer than her normal leotard, but still had the enticing presence.  
  
"Don't make it sound one-sided!"I said, trying not to blush."I'm glad to see you too!"  
  
{Verrrrrrry glad.} My sub-conscious made me think, trying to get my eyes to look lower.  
  
"So, were are we going?"She asked, stepping outside and closing her door.  
  
"I got reservations at a friend of mine's restaurant."I said, failing not to blush as I took her hand, prepared to warp."I know; It sounds cheep, but I promise you'll enjoy it!"  
  
"Great!" She said happily. Her smile made my insides melt.  
  
We walked to the place I had in mind. It was a little fancy, kinda stuffy, not to romantic-  
  
"No way! You got reservations HERE?" Dia said, amazed.  
  
"Yep I smiled happily." The Goblin Cafe always had a huge waiting list, due to their ingenious recipes. But, nothing a few old friends can't fix.  
  
We enetered the Cafe, but soon wished we had chosen a better place. The whole restaraunt was in shambles!  
  
"What happened here?" I asked the distraught owner, Goblin #1.  
  
"Oh, Dar! Great to see ya' buddy!" He grinned slightly." We got a sorta' renegade employee. His name's da' Bistro Butcher, an' he's a real jerk! He sorta' stole our profits fer' tonight and ran off somewhere."  
  
"Anything we can do to help?" Dia asked.  
  
"Well, nobody knows where he lives, so I dunno." G1 said, embarrased.'Eh, we'll just rough'em up when he comes back."  
  
"IF he comes back." I said, grimacing. The Goblins were a bit slow on the uptake. They came from the deck-city of Wheeler, where mostly fists were required to live it big.  
  
"Dia, I hate to ask, but would you mind helping me on this case?" I asked.  
  
"Not what I had in mind, but I wanted an interesting date. Sure!" She said, completely ignoring my blushing."You know, you look like my duelist's boyfriend when you do that?"  
  
"Sorry. Let's go!" I said, and we ran out to search.  
  
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A/N: My brain is completely empty, so expect another long pause.  
  
Seto: So, got any plans for the date concerning the Dark Magic Curtain?  
  
Alpha: *grins evilly* Well, no plans that Darien will like, immediately, that is, but probably for Dia!  
  
Darien: If my face survives this fic, I'll make sure yours won't. 


End file.
